Review: Dracula’s ‘Nine Pints’ goes straight for the jugular

A new show by the iconic Broadbeach institution takes a bite out of its audience, and more importantly, itself.

If you’ve ever wondered what a giant neon spermatazoa puppet dancing in front of inflatable labia to Master Wel’s ‘When I Was A Sperm’ would look like (and why wouldn’t you have?) then wonder no more, because Dracula’s new show ‘Nine Pints’ reaches new heights in terms of lasciviousness.

The cabaret restaurant’s penchant for re-invention is probably key to its longevity, with regular infusions of fresh blood (sorry) ensuring that the shows never feel stale. Colourful and bawdy, the ‘Nine Pints’ experience flits quickly between jaw-dropping contortionist acts, ribald comedy, “live” rock ‘n roll, mime, video and sassy vaudeville, barely allowing the audience to catch its breath in between acts.

The all-new cast features Stewart Reeve who channels Noel Fielding in an androgynous turn as comedic host and lead singer ‘Diamond’, and Melbourne Dracula’s Will Rogers as cheeky, slapsticky partner-in-crime ‘El-Mo’. The two have a zingy rapport and engage in lewd and occasionally cutting banter with one another and the audience while moving the proceedings along at a snappy pace. Charming chanteuse Antonia Marr sinks her teeth into the role of sultry diva ‘Absinthe’ while diminutive duo Alyssa and Amy Cameron – as ‘Jugular’ and ‘Aorta’, the Heart Attack Twins – captivate with their contortion, dance and aerial work.

The music is always a highlight of Dracula’s shows, and ‘Nine Pints’ and its seamless mix of live and recorded tunes is no exception, with Arctic Monkeys, Portishead, Marilyn Manson, Nirvana and Queens of the Stone Age making welcome appearances in the soundtrack. Live drummer Benjamin Winstanley (‘Brutus’) and shredder guitarist Viola Skyes (‘Vendetta’) prove themselves masters of versatility. In fact the entire musical cast boasts some impressive chops, but it’s Reeve’s gut-wrenching, pitch-perfect rendition of ‘Stairway to Heaven’ that steals the show by a long shot. Seriously. The pipes on this guy.

The food is simple and surprisingly good, particularly considering the volume of meals the kitchen turns out on a nightly basis. Our chicken was juicy and the beef short rib fell off the bone. The ghoulish servers are entertaining, efficient and at times, hilariously rude. Top Tip: If you don’t want to get publicly harrassed by the cast, avoid the floor seats.

There are few nights out in which you can be spooked, rained on, grossed out, eviscerated, tickled, shocked, fed, wowed, stirred and thoroughly entertained, and Dracula’s achieves everything on that list with close attention to detail, but without ever taking itself too seriously. It’s pure, campy, adult fun. At the start of the night, the show was described as being like ‘Sitting in a spa full of Pepsi Max while wearing a g-string made of Mentos.’ We laughed, but it ended being an apt description. A tingly, toothy,  titillating time indeed.

‘Nine Pints’ runs five nights per week from Tuesday to Saturday, and tickets for the full show + three course meals start from a mere $95. Visit the website for more information.

Disclaimer: Blank GC were guests of Dracula’s Cabaret Restaurant



1 Comment

  • Reply November 6, 2018

    Adam Christie

    I couldn’t agree more.
    What a great show. Thoroughly enjoyed it!

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